How will I ever sleep tonight??

Oh my gosh, my BIG day is here tomorrow!! My ear will be turned on! I cannot even describe in words how I've been feeling all week. I went back to work on Tuesday. I have been feeling awesome all week. I feel 100 percent healthy again. All of my headaches and tiredness went away. My energy level has skyrocketed this week. I've come across some trials this week and I've been tested but nothing and I mean, absolutely nothing can knock me down. God sustains me through everything! I'm focused on tomorrow......I am ready. Tomorrow will be a culmination of a true miracle that I have been waiting for all of my life. A miracle and a gift that I am so grateful to receive. I am so excited to have my family with me to witness this. My Mom and Dad, who gave me life and poured everything they had into me will share this beautiful moment with me. I know my Mom will cry a river of tears. :) Todd, my soulmate and my rock.....he and I have been linked steadfast and strong through all of this.......I am the luckiest woman alive and I can't wait to share this with him. I am taking Matt, Andrew and Hannah out of school.....they are truly excited for me! And I know that Chris, in Texas will be with me in spirit.....I can't wait to call him! I have a really amazing family.....I am truly blessed. And my friends......wow, I am so thankful for all of your support and encouraging words these last eight months!
So...... I've got major butterflies in my stomach but it's a good feeling! I am counting down the hours til 2:00pm. Stay tuned for my video tomorrow! :)

Halfway there!!!

I woke up this morning and looked at my calendar on my fridge.....and realized I am halfway there. I am ten days post op and I have 10 more days until my ear is turned on! My eyes welled with tears. Tears of excitement, joy and anticipation. Tears of gratefulness.....there are no words to express how grateful I am of my gift from God. Everything that has happened along the way in my life leading up to today and all my tomorrows is all part of God's plan for me. What a beautiful thing to witness! I am just beyond grateful.
I had my post op appointment yesterday with Dr. Turner. When he walked in the room and saw me, he flashed a huge smile at Todd and I . I can tell he is excited for me. My immediate thought in my head was, does he realize the impact of his role in this life changing event for me? He is very pleased with my recovery. My incision and the inside of my ear looks great. I can now get my incision wet. I have no pain whatsoever. The only thing I have are headaches and tiredness but it is improving each day. He tells me my headaches are probably caused by my brain working harder to hear out of the other side with my hearing aid. He also tells me tiredness is normal coming off the anesthetic and surgery and I should be feeling good as new in a week. He tells me I can start exercising again but to wait another week before I start my running again. I am very happy. I give him my heartfelt thanks before I leave the room......I only hope he realizes how much I mean it.
Since today was a big day for me.....my halfway point.....I reflected on so much of my life leading up to today. Lots of emotions.....good ones. I think about how a very small part of the beginning of my life impacts a very big part of what is happening in the now of my life.

                                                                 My Mom and I

This photo of my Mom and I in the newspaper when I was almost three years old means so much to me. This small part of the beginning of my young life is HUGE to me.....I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for the love, perserverance and dedication of my Mom and Dad. This is how I learned to lipread and talk.....by "feeling" the words on my Mom and Dad's faces. They spent hours with me each day....I would learn a word by "feeling" the word on their face and watching their lips. I would repeat the word by sounding it out and watching how they formed the word with their lips. There were no hand signs taught. This went on for many years along with speech therapy. Being able to hear some with my hearing aids is only a small fraction of why I am where I am today. I lipread and talk well because of the foundation my parents laid down for me when I was a young child. As a child, I had no idea how much work they poured into me. It was my "normal" and was a part of my daily life growing up. It was all I knew. As an adult and a Mom, I know now how much did everything in their power for their child, me, to teach me and give me a life as normal as possible so that I could grow and flourish. And that I did. I surpassed beyond what others told my Mom and Dad could be done. I am where I am today because of them and for that I will never, ever forget. Because of what they taught me, I know that I am prepared for when my ear is turned on! It won't be easy. It will be a hard and long road ahead of me.  But I'm strong and mentally prepared.....I can handle this. I went through years of training to "feel words" and I have the foundation to now "listen" to the words and new sounds when my ear is turned on. I know that I have tremendous support from my family and friends to help me with new sounds.....it will be amazing and I am so grateful that I have so many people rallying behind me.  Thank you Mom and Dad for always fighting for me and helping me get to where I am today.....I love you both.

Day 2 post-op......feeling pretty good!

Todd and I arrived at Kettering Hospital at 10:45am on Thursday. The next two hours were spent asking me lots of health questions and prepping me for surgery. Dr. Turner came in to see me before they took me back. We both smiled at each other and I told him I was so excited and held his hand with thankfulfulness. I think he knew. I was putting all my trust in him and was grateful for his skilled hands that he was about to perform on me. I silently said a prayer for him and for God to guide him during the surgery and to be with me. I was very much at peace. The anesthesiologist came in and introduced herself. She explained what she would be doing and told me I would have a breathing tube during the surgery. She asked me if I had any loose teeth and I told her, "No. I better not because I'm a dental hygienist!" We laughed. Within minutes, they were injecting the sleepy juice in my IV and getting ready to wheel me into the operating room. Todd and I kissed and said our I love you's. Before I knew it, I was out and in recovery! When they woke me up in recovery, I started bawling like a baby. At that moment, I was just feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for what I just received. I kept asking where Todd was. I just wanted to see his face. After a half hour, they wheeled me into the post-op recovery room where Todd was waiting for me. We immediately hugged. I was so glad to see him and I could see the relief on his face. I was amazed at how quickly they sent me home. I was in recovery for only an hour. I responded so well that they said I could go home. My Mom was waiting for me at home. It was so good to see her face. She came to stay the night with me since Todd had to work that evening. I was so grateful she nursed Andrew and I. Andrew had just broken his ankle in his football game a few days prior! My dad stopped by with my prescriptions so that Todd could get some rest before going into work.  I was glad to see him. Hannah got off the bus at 4:20pm and I was so glad to see her.  She was happy to see me and we immediately hugged. I love my girl. I knew she worried about me all day in school. I was anxious to see Matt after he got off work. He sent me a loving text message from school just as I was on my way to the hosptital. I appreciated that and it warmed my heart. My Mom took care of my family and fixed them dinner while I rested. I got sick once. I wasn't feeling too bad other than the really bad headache I had. I think it was because the head bandage was wrapped too tight. I slept on the couch because it felt better to stay propped up. I decided to try ice on my head and boy, did that really help. I woke up every three hours to take a pain pill because of my headache. The first time I woke up, I saw my Mom on the other couch sleeping ( I told her to sleep in Chris's room) and I tried to stay quiet while opening the pill bottle so I wouldn't wake her. But she woke up instinctively every time I woke up and brought me a fresh bag of ice each time. I was grateful she was with me all night.....it was nice to have my Mommy take care of me. :) I woke up in the morning. I felt well rested. My Mom said she felt like I slept well. I was still feeling groggy but more alert. My head still hurt but I wasn't queasy anymore. I felt well enough to stop the pain pills after only 16 hours and rely on just Tylenol. I was ready to get the bandage off (my doctor said I could take it off the next day) and I waited until Todd got home from work. Both Todd and my Mom took the bandage off. I immediately felt better once it was off. I was amazed at how clean the incision was and how very little my hair was shaved off. My Mom was in awe. My surgeon did an excellent job. I was very happy. I rested on the couch the rest of the day. My brother, Jeff came to visit me. He brought me chicken noodle soup....it was the only thing that tasted good at the moment. Todd's mom came over early in the afternoon after my nap. She brought me flowers. My Mom left in the evening after Todd woke up. I was glad she stayed with me. My Dad visited me late in the evening. I fell asleep early at 10:30pm. I only woke up twice in the night to take Tylenol. I slept well. I woke up this morning feeling much more alert. I was still a little groggy but much more alert. I was feeling very pleased with my progress! I have no pain in my ear at all. Just a nagging headache. My head feels tight where the incision is and I can feel the bump where the magnet is. My recovery is going much better than I ever expected. I know it is attributed to myself getting healthy in the months prior to my surgery with running and eating healthy. Todd made me my favorite ginger tea and eggs just the way I like it for breakfast. It felt good to start feeling some normalcy. I took a shower. Then Todd washed my hair carefully not to get my ear or incision wet while I leaned my head back over the bathtub. I felt 100 percent better. I'm supposed to take it easy for the next two weeks but I wanted to get some fresh air on this beautiful day. I asked Todd to walk me to the end of the driveway and back. He held my hand the entire time and I appreciated him just being there for me. After that, I sat on my patio for a few minutes by myself basking in the sun. I love the warmth of the sun on my face. I sat there just really appreciating everything in my life and the gift from God that I received. I have completed this leg of my journey and now I just need to heal and take care of myself. I will wait patiently until the 28th.....when my ear is "turned on"!

 

 

 Excited!

Getting my sleepy juice before surgery

 

 

                                                                       Post-op
                                                                             

My incision

After washing my hair! :)

                                    
                                                        

I am so thankful....

Oh my gosh, today has been a day full of anticipation and excitement! I had an awesome day at work today. It really helped pass the time. My boss, Dr H took our office staff out to lunch today and they gave me a really sweet card. I had a wonderful time with them.....they are all excited for me. I am so blessed to work with an awesome team.....they are like family to me.
My surgery is at 12:45pm tomorrow. I am a little nervous but more excited than anything. I really have a peace about all of this. And I feel very mentally ready. This is a lifelong dream of mine. I look forward to hearing my children's voices for the first time, all of my family's voices especially Todd's, listening to music, talking on the telephone (the very first person I will call is my son, Chris in Texas!), going to the movies, listening to sounds of nature, hearing the Sunday sermons and so much more!
I just want to say thank you to everyone for their love, support, encouraging words and prayers. It means the world to me. I love sharing my experiences with you and I will continue to share the rest of my exciting journey with you. I am so grateful beyond words......

It's like waiting for Christmas.......

I feel like a little girl waiting for Christmas to get here. I have butterflies in my stomach. I'm anxious and excited. I didn't think I was nervous but Todd made the comment yesterday that he can tell I'm a little nervous because I've gotten the nesting instinct. The planner in me has kicked in overdrive! With raising four children, I've always been a planner.....it creates a sense of calm in the chaos of our schedules. I love to make things easier for Todd because he puts in 60 hours plus in a week at work. He does so much to provide for our family So....I've been cleaning, getting all the laundry caught up, going to the grocery and making sure the bills are paid. I feel so much better. So yes, Todd is probably right, I am subconciously nervous. I need that sense of calm going into my surgery. Two days ago, I got a massage to help me relax and relieve some tension. I love my massages from Sue, a very dear friend of mine. She used to be my babysitter when I was young! I am very fond of her and it was a treat seeing her. It was just what I needed to relax. I also had a really cool conversation this last week with a gentleman my Mom introduced to me by Facebook. Dan had a cochlear implant seven years ago and he answered many of my questions. It was so helpful and he put some of my fears at ease. I was grateful for the correspondence and hope to meet him someday. It is a good thing I am working the next two days.....it will help pass the time. It is so crazy to think it's almost here. After eight months of waiting. God has a plan for me and I love watching it unfold.....

The miracle I am about to receive......

Today was my day off work. As I was going about my normal Friday routine of going to the grocery and catching up on laundry with only myself and my thoughts, the realization set in that I am only 13 days away from my surgery date. Like, I knew it all along that it was getting close but with the kids home for the summer I really didn't have time to think about it. They kept me busy. But today was my first day off alone without the kids since they started back to school last week. This morning it was like, BAM, I am having a life changing event happen in 13 days. I thought about it all day. The excitement is building up now. I was thinking to myself, how I started this process in January....almost 8 months ago. At the time, I thought September would take forever to get here. And now here it is, less than two weeks away. It went by so quickly and I am so thankful for my busy family life and "living" in each moment.....it made the wait all worthwhile.  I've been busy the last two weeks getting things done that I needed to have done before my surgery. My first priority was getting my right hearing aid retuned so that I could hear better. I had lost some hearing from my prior surgery and infection last year. Originally, I thought I would have to live with it but I was happy when my audiologist said she could retune my hearing aid to make up for my additional loss. She also decided that I would benefit better from a full ear mold rather than the partial one I had to trap the sound in better. So I had new impressions made. I went back last week to pick it up and had my final retuning done. Oh, so much better!! I feel like I hear as well as I did prior to my infection. This makes me feel so much better and more comfortable with the fact that I won't be able to hear for three weeks in the other ear while I am healing. My hearing is SO important to me so I am thankful my hearing aid was able to be fixed before the surgery. I also had my pneumovax vaccine done. It was required by my ent doctor before my surgery. Last but not least important, was ordering the color of my sound processor and choosing three accessories. I chose sand color for my processor to match my skin color. There were so many accessories to choose from. I chose two rechargable batteries on top of the two I will receive. Apparently, the batteries only stay charged for 2-3 days so that was very important to me to have a good battery supply on hand! The other accessory that I am really excited about is an audio cable. I will be able to connect my processor to an ipod to listen to music! How cool is that? Many people have asked me how a cochlear implant really works and thought I would share with you so that there may be a better understanding. First, my doctor will shave a small section of my hair behind my ear. He will make an incision behind the ear to allow access to the cochlea. There are two parts to the cochlear implant. One is internal, which is the implant itself. The other is external, which is a sound processor. The implant consists of a self curling electrode array designed to curve naturally inside the cochlea which will stimulate the hearing nerve. This array will have 22 electrodes to provide optimal sound clarity. This surgery will last up to 3 hours and it will be outpatient. I will have a healing time of three weeks before they put the sound processor on and "turn my ear on". My activation date is on September 28th. I also want to describe best as I can how natural hearing works compared to my hearing aid and the implant. With natural hearing, sounds enter the ear canal and travel to the eardrum. These sound waves cause the eardrum to vibrate which send the bones in the middle ear into motion. This motion is converted into electrical impulses by tiny hair cells inside the cochlea. These impulses are sent to the brain where they are perceived by the listener as sound. With my hearing aid, the microphone in the aid picks up the sound and sends it to the amplifier where it makes it louder. My hair cells inside my cochlea do not work as well (if at all) as one with natural hearing so that's why I cannot distinguish the many pitches that one can hear. My hearing aid amplifies sounds to make them louder but that doesn't always make them clearer. With an implant, the external sound processor captures the sounds, then filters and processes the sounds. It translates the filtered sounds into digital information which is transmitted to the internal part of the implant. This in turn converts it into elecrical electrical signals and sends them to the elecrodes inside the cochlea. These electrical signals stimulate the hearing nerve and bypasses the damaged hair cells  (which causes hearing loss) and allows the brain to perceive sound. It is amazing to learn how intricate and complex this system is. I have waited years for this miracle and I am so thankful to be able to receive this gift in my lifetime!

Less than one month away!!!!

Time is getting away from me quickly. I had no idea two months had passed since I wrote my last blog! I will be writing more frequently as I get closer to my surgery date on September 6th....I can't wait to share all of my experiences with you. It has been a busy summer for me which is a good thing.....I haven't had time to be anxious about waiting for the "big day". I am still running five days a week.....I love it. I feel healthier physically and mentally. I feel like running has helped me mentally prepare for this surgery. I am ready. Completely ready. I think about lots of things....how different my life will be and how I will get to experience many new "sounds". During the last few weeks, I noticed my family will say things from time to time about certain sounds, "when you get your cochlear, I can't wait til you hear....." so I know they are excited for me. My daughter, Hannah is very observant of many sounds and tells me she can't wait until I hear them with her. One day, when I was driving, she was next to me listening to the music on the radio. Her favorite band, One Direction comes on and she turns up the music. She sings along and really enjoys their music. I can hear the music but I can't understand the words because I need to lipread to know what the words are. Hannah stops midway through the song and turns the radio down, and says "Mom, I can't wait til you get your cochlear so you can hear how awesome this band is! You will love them!" She makes me smile as I see the excitement on her face. I would love to be able to take her to a One Direction concert and experience the music with her and enjoy it fully. I've always avoided concerts because I could never enjoy it completely like everyone else. I can remember to this day the last big concert I went to was Garth Brooks. He was Todd's favorite country singer many years ago and I went with him. I left very frustrated and disappointed because I couldn't understand the lyrics while everybody was singing along and having a great time. That was the last concert I ever went to. The only music I ever enjoyed in my life was the halftime music on the football field in high school. I was on the drill team and I danced to the music on the field with the marching band. I truly loved it and it is one of my very favorite high school memories. I loved strutting my stuff on the field with my marching boots, uniform and pom poms. It was the one thing I felt so a part of and fully enjoyed. It was my kind of music because of the loud drum beats. I could feel the vibrations of the beats on the field. It was powerful to me and I loved it. The beats really got to me in my heart. I could hear the other instruments in the background but could never distinguish which instrument it was by the sounds. The drums never failed me.....I always knew what the drums were. It was my favorite sound. We had to follow 8 counts in our dance routine and it followed along with the drum beats. When I first tried out for the drill team, many judges doubted that I would be able to follow along. I proved them wrong and was so grateful for the chance. It was so easy for me to follow the 8 count and listen to the drum beats. I had the best time of my life dancing with my friends on the football field for all three years of my high school. I have always wanted to come back and dance on the field on Alumni night. It is my dream to have my drill team friends come back home and dance with me on the field and fully experience the music with me when I have my cochlear implant. Music is one of the many new sounds I am really looking forward to experiencing. What a ride this is going to be and I can't wait!  Until next time......