My life changing decision today....

Today was a big day for me. I made the decision to start the process of getting a cochlear implant. I went to my doctor this morning for my followup hearing test from my ear surgery I had in September. I had an ongoing infection in my ear for months prior and from the cat scan they found that I had an infection in my mastoid bone. When the doctor saw my cat scan, he said that I had a tumor along with the infection. The infection also caused my eardrum to rupture. So....he prepared me for the worst and I was immediately scheduled for surgery. I came through the surgery with flying colors. When I woke up, my doctor told me there was no tumor....just a really bad infection. It was a miracle. God answered prayers. I had so many people praying for me.....I am truly blessed with a wonderful family and many friends. I recovered quickly, however, my ear did not. I had several small infections as I was healing over the next few months. My hearing slowly came back but I noticed it wasn't where it was before. I anxiously awaited for my appointment today since they wanted to take a hearing test to compare it to the one I had right before surgery. Not so good news....I was told my right ear was very similar to the test I had before surgery. I had zero percent understanding without lipreading. In my left ear I had eight percent understanding without lipreading. I was told my hearing in my left ear was deteriorating. There was significant loss in my right ear since my last hearing test in 2008 before my infection started. That was a big blow to me. I could either live with it or see if I am a candidate for a cochlear implant. Right then and there I chose the latter. I was born with severe profound hearing loss in both ears and the hearing I had with my hearing aids was so precious to me. I depended on it. I could not imagine my life without it. So I told my wonderful doctor, Dr. Turner, that I wanted to start the process of getting a cochlear implant right away. I had no doubt in my mind that this was what I wanted and there was no turning back. I scheduled a series of three appointments. My first appointment is on January 30th for a cat scan on both ears. My second appointment will be on February 6th which will be a two and half hour long hearing test on both ears. My third appointment will be on February 13th with Dr. Turner to go over the results of both tests and to find out if I am a candidate for the cochlear implant. If I am a candidate, they will submit it to my insurance to see if they will cover my surgery which will take another four to six weeks to find out. So......I left my doctor's office with many emotions. I cried the whole way home. My life is changing as I know it. I was sad, scared, unsure, you name it. When I got home, I called my Mom on Facetime. Thank God for Facetime. Seeing her face was comforting and hearing her voice was just what I needed at the moment. She knows me better than anyone else. As the day went on, I thought about it alot. Different emotions were starting to surface. Excitement. Peacefulness. I decided I was going to make something positive out of this. God is opening a door for me and I'm going to walk through it. I don't know what the reason is for all of this but I'm not going to question it anymore.....I'm going to trust in Him. I have a great support system. My husband is so supportive of my decision. My kids think it's awesome. It means the world to me to have my family by my side as I make this walk through a new chapter of my life.