Monday, October 1, 2012
Baby steps......I did it today!!!
I did it!! I went to my appointment today at 4pm. My anxiety level was so high all day and I literally thought I was going to throw up when I got there. I was so scared of putting it back on....and getting that electrocuted feeling. That was my fear. I overcame my fear when I stepped in the room. I only took Todd with me this time. He was my calming force. My audiologist was very reassuring. We started all over from scratch. I was able to focus much better on listening to the beeps without having too many people in the room. I love my family dearly but this was a much better way to go for me. I had no pressure.....I readjusted my attitude and lowered my expectations. She went through the beeps first and got me to the lowest level. She also set it at a lower pace. It is firing at lower pace rather than rapidly. Then she turned it on. Wow.....much better! I didn't get the jolt. I just got an electrical sensation. I am much more comfortable. I listened. I heard her voice. I heard the S sound. Sssssssss. :) And ch ch ch like in cheese. I heard Todd clap. Everything sounds mechanical but that's okay. My brain is adapting now to these new sounds. Over time it will sound natural. I have many visits of adjustments to come. But I am really happy with today! Definitely a HUGE difference from Friday. I have no metallic taste in my mouth anymore. My body is not tense anymore. I'm not bracing for the "surge". It is now very comfortable. I left the office feeling very happy and elated. I'm on my way! Todd and I got in the car. I heard the keys jangling! We got home and as I was walking up to the back door I asked Todd, what is that noise? He said, you really heard that? It was the horn on the key remote from when he locked my car! I walked on the patio. There are leaves all over the patio. As my shoes moved the leaves I could hear a swishing sound. I asked Todd if the leaves made that noise and he said yes. Wow. I came in the house and talked to the kids. They were making all kinds of noises to test me out. :) It's all mechanical now but like I said, this is the first day. We know it is working.....my brain is getting stimulation. I texted my Mom and Dad right away. My Mom said she was crying and my Dad said said he got the chills. They were both extremely happy for the good news. I started to make dinner. I got the Pam spray out to spray my dish. And I heard the spray!!!! Matt was standing next to me watching me. He looked at me puzzled when I made a look on my face and I said Matt, does that spray sound like a whistle? He said yes. Wow! Amazing. I couldn't stop smiling after that. I feel like I can do this now. I know I can! My next appointment is Friday for another adjustment. We will keep increasing the levels to allow my brain to adapt. I am told each day gets better. Now I'm excited to hear how tomorrow sounds!