Wednesday, April 18, 2012
The BIG date is set!!!
September 20th is the BIG day. The day I will get a cochlear implant in my left ear. The day my life will change as I know it. I found out on Monday. Yes, three days ago. You wonder why I didn't shout it out from the rooftops that day? I wondered that myself also. All the weeks leading up to the day I would find out, I imagined how excited I would be and how I would be so excited to tell the world about it. My reaction was certainly different than my imagination. The last three days I've been sorting through lots of feelings that I'm having and I still am. I never thought I could feel so much at once. I am excited and happy but along with that comes uncertainty, fear and curiosity. Uncertainty of the unknown. Fear of change. Curiosity of how it's all going to unfold for me. I'm 43 years old. I've been hearing impaired all of my life. That's all I know. In one day that will change in the blink of an eye. Like many of us, I have my comfort zone. I'm going way out of my comfort zone. Not that I don't want to but it's not an easy task. I have a lot of work ahead of me. Am I up to it? Yes, of course I am. I did years of training when I was little and I can do it again. That's the easy part. The hardest part for me will be changing what I've known for 43 years to something so new. I will still be the same Lisa. My personality won't change but I know in some ways I will change. I wrote a letter to my Mom and Dad last week. I wanted them to know how grateful I am to have them as parents, for them to have been so deeply involved in teaching me from a very young age and for giving me the tools I needed so I could be where I am today. I know where I came from. I'm proud of myself and who I am. I am glad I am hearing impaired. It doesn't make me "me" but it is a part of who I am. God gave me a gift when I was born and I'm about to receive another gift. I have a purpose and I know that now. I took a huge leap of faith in the beginning of all of this. I've learned so much in the last ten weeks. I've learned about patience, faith, trust, gratitude and most of all LOVE. I'm ready for this.....ready as I will ever be. September seems far away but yet so close. It was the first available date they had. Some wonder if I'm sad that it's five months away.....not at all. It's all part of this journey I'm on. It's how it's supposed to be. As many of you know, I am a summer girl. I can't wait to enjoy this summer like never before! My Mom and I are still working on our book.....I will be writing lots until then. My oldest will graduate from college in Texas two weeks after my surgery. My husband and my other three children will keep me busy as always. My life is richly blessed and until the "big" day, I will continue to live in each moment. What more can I ask for?